wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
