bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize