We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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