u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
