FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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