just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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