great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize