Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
