no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
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He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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