is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
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She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
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Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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