I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
