His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
