I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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