I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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