did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Screwed.edu
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
