Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I had to cum in my sink.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
