i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
