i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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