Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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