used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
