and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Everything about him screamed your future.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
