How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
