I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
