Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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