If that was your dad, he is hot
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
