He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
