so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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