careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
