I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
