I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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