I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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