I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
