I want to stick my p in your. b.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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