we have officially lost it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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