Texts From Last Night

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  (636): View more from Missouri

  His pubic hair was longer than his dick

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  (636): His pubic hair was longer than his dick http://tfl.nu/f6nh
  Replies (69) Good night (1400) Bad night (27111)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window

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  (937): just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window http://tfl.nu/npzo
  Replies (8) Good night (3286) Bad night (681)
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  (408): View more from California

  she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.

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  (408): she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night. http://tfl.nu/jplo
  Replies (16) Good night (759) Bad night (3679)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.

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  (541): Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends. http://tfl.nu/3u3d
  Replies (19) Good night (3877) Bad night (685)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.

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  (440): Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them. http://tfl.nu/0bl8
  Replies (13) Good night (1045) Bad night (5065)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.

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  (253): she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time. http://tfl.nu/yrce
  Replies (47) Good night (1770) Bad night (8519)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."

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  (605): Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great." http://tfl.nu/846x
  Replies (15) Good night (2622) Bad night (2886)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.

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  (617): I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B. http://tfl.nu/c1l3
  Replies (4) Good night (1194) Bad night (2890)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.

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  (732): I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour. http://tfl.nu/7icu
  Replies (7) Good night (1458) Bad night (905)
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  (315): View more from New York

  The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  .....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....

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  (315): The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar..... (507): .....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls.... http://tfl.nu/yj71
  Replies (5) Good night (895) Bad night (598)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.

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  (914): Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life. http://tfl.nu/0z43
  Replies (2) Good night (584) Bad night (1273)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.

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  (313): I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to. http://tfl.nu/ozzk
  Replies (8) Good night (530) Bad night (992)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.

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  (479): Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical. http://tfl.nu/g3fg
  Replies (1) Good night (771) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.

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  (646): Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50. http://tfl.nu/ks3u
  Replies (1) Good night (659) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos

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  (262): I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos http://tfl.nu/7sym
  Replies (0) Good night (413) Bad night (289)

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