Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.

  (425): View more from Washington

  'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas

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  (425): Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor. (425): 'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas http://tfl.nu/4u1g
  Replies (9) Good night (1975) Bad night (585)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin

  (253): View more from Washington

  was*

  (509): View more from Washington

  True, R.I.P.

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  (509): Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin (253): was* (509): True, R.I.P. http://tfl.nu/u2pm
  Replies (19) Good night (1179) Bad night (2417)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.

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  (630): just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description. http://tfl.nu/30ew
  Replies (13) Good night (626) Bad night (2519)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.

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  (405): sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss. http://tfl.nu/je9l
  Replies (13) Good night (612) Bad night (3631)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.

  (214): View more from Texas

  It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.

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  (903): I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls. (214): It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep. http://tfl.nu/5v3w
  Replies (17) Good night (5106) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail

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  (267): So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail http://tfl.nu/dt1f
  Replies (5) Good night (3314) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely

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  (937): All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely http://tfl.nu/gogl
  Replies (4) Good night (3149) Bad night (655)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.

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  (512): Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college. (512): Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good. http://tfl.nu/chyc
  Replies (10) Good night (1562) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.

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  (519): It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE. http://tfl.nu/hewz
  Replies (12) Good night (1512) Bad night (2140)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store

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  (678): My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store http://tfl.nu/soqr
  Replies (7) Good night (1037) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"

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  (214): I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy" http://tfl.nu/b3zm
  Replies (3) Good night (960) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived

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  (805): If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived http://tfl.nu/668l
  Replies (5) Good night (856) Bad night (385)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night

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  (314): Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night http://tfl.nu/13rl
  Replies (8) Good night (976) Bad night (334)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I have poison ivy on my dick

  (1-870): View more from Arkansas

  WHAT

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  (870): I have poison ivy on my dick (1-870): WHAT http://tfl.nu/5c6b
  Replies (8) Good night (354) Bad night (844)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone

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  (443): Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone http://tfl.nu/3q0e
  Replies (0) Good night (433) Bad night (272)

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