You made me cry and you don't even care
I smell stomach acid.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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