Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.