It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her