3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage