Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.

  (1-510): View more from California

  It was probably Jesus.

  (510): View more from California

  I feel like he would have left a message.

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  (510): I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number. (1-510): It was probably Jesus. (510): I feel like he would have left a message. http://tfl.nu/w24x
  Replies (36) Good night (4589) Bad night (926)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you

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  (509): Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you http://tfl.nu/tpo5
  Replies (30) Good night (13972) Bad night (1130)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.

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  (573): You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes. http://tfl.nu/p4s9
  Replies (23) Good night (6804) Bad night (2226)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed

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  (828): i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed http://tfl.nu/hltv
  Replies (3) Good night (1581) Bad night (2360)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim

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  (913): I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim http://tfl.nu/0xxd
  Replies (8) Good night (2733) Bad night (973)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me

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  (763): I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me http://tfl.nu/q7kn
  Replies (5) Good night (1418) Bad night (887)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.

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  (570): I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands. http://tfl.nu/xt87
  Replies (5) Good night (783) Bad night (1798)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.

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  (541): Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me. http://tfl.nu/hakv
  Replies (13) Good night (1036) Bad night (797)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today

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  (843): I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today http://tfl.nu/bbq7
  Replies (12) Good night (3014) Bad night (601)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence

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  (616): he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence http://tfl.nu/qzxi
  Replies (3) Good night (1759) Bad night (708)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.

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  (773): You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms. http://tfl.nu/8prv
  Replies (4) Good night (997) Bad night (460)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.

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  (815): Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for. http://tfl.nu/bju4
  Replies (2) Good night (867) Bad night (389)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone

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  (828): I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone http://tfl.nu/fll1
  Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (1023)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.

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  (920): Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders. http://tfl.nu/bd26
  Replies (3) Good night (353) Bad night (425)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower

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  (603): the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower http://tfl.nu/z3nh
  Replies (1) Good night (789) Bad night (313)

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