he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I deserve this hangover.
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