If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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