you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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