Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
