you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
