For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
