so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
