I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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