and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize