I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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