it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
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Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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