I want to walk on stilts...naked
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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