So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
then he tried to convert me to islam
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i think i just lost a toe
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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