dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize