I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
