My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
