franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
