No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
