Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
