the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
