Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
