She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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