...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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