we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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