i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
