It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
