Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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