Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
