Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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