I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
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