do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
