You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
