From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So vagazzling was a success
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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