P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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