you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
