In America we eat man semen.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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