So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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