My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
