Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
