Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize