she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
