Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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