11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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