im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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